Yesterday I started my first contest here on freestylemind. I plan to do more of them in the future, but this was the first, and I was a bit nervous before starting it.
Yet the response has been amazing so far. In less than 24 hours I’ve received more than 200 submissions, and I’m still thinking of a way to make everyone win (because everyone wins here). I have a few ideas, but it’s a secret.
All of that made me think a lot about happiness, and a few questions popped into my mind. Where does happiness come from? How’s that I’m more happy when I give stuff away freely rather than when I buy something for me? What happens when you realize what really makes you happy. Will you finally do more of it, and avoid throwing away your hard earned money as a way to justify your work? Those are interesting questions. Let’s try to answer them.
Giving stuff away
Giving stuff away is perhaps the most common and obvious way to find happiness. For centuries our society was based on genuine exchange of goods between people, not always expecting something in return.
This common practice of helping each other is still present today. There are thousands of individuals and organizations that are helping less fortunate people each day for nothing. Think of free hospitals, charities and red cross as an example. I’m sure they are all really happy for what they are doing.
It has been said that the really reach people are those who donate their stuff away, and I couldn’t agree more. Indeed it’s because of them that we have so many beautiful things in the world.
Of course we can’t just give everything we have away, there’s another ingredient that’s still missing. You have to enjoy doing it, otherwise there’s no happiness.
Creating something
Another great source of happiness is building new things. Creating new stuff because you wanted to, and not because someone told you do it is always very rewarding.
There are infinite things you can create. Some people create companies, other create websites. Artists create drawings and sculptures, children create puzzles and other games. All of them have fun while they’re doing those activities.
I found that it doesn’t matter the size of your project or the audience you have (you might do it for yourself). What I found is that just creating something is enough for triggering happiness.
Connecting people
This is something that may not be so obvious but still very effective. Connecting new people means creating new relationships from people who didn’t know each other. Connecting new people can also mean creating communities, movements and opportunities for everyone involved.
Connecting people together is so important because when you do it, you are creating exponential change. If two people with the same idea meet each other, something new can happen, a new tribe will be born, and the world will probably be a bit better than before. Wars divide people, politics divide people too. Smart people connect people instead.
Doing something new
Doing something new that excites you is eventually the essence of personal growth. Every time that you try something new you are pushing your boundaries and exiting your comfort zone. It might hurt at first, but it’s nothing compared to the satisfaction you’ll feel at the end.
Now, I know how it feels to worry about outcomes when you try something new. I was really bad at that, so bad that I would become sick in almost every occasion, until one day I discovered something. And that something is to have fun while doing something new.
If you feel tension while you’re doing something, that’s your instinctive brain who’s trying to maintain the status quo. Your brain still thinks that you’re living in the savana and that you’re risking your life. Perhaps that’s not your case, so take a deep breath and smile, remember that all you have to do is to have fun and that there’s nothing to be worried about.
Conclusion
I usually don’t write about abstract topics such as happiness, but today I wanted to try something new.
Now it’s your turn, what are the things that make you happy? I’m curious.
I can totally agree with these points – especially the creating (I am a programmer, creating programs makes me happy!) and the connecting people. With all the new “social” websites out there, it’s very easy to lose sight of that latter point in relation to physically meeting and connecting people.
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Hey Chris, I’m a programmer too so I can know what you mean ;)
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you’re only 23 and your blog is amazing. i truly admire you outlook on life and how you’re sharing your thoughts and advises to us. thank you :)
what makes me happy?
-when i feel connected to people. not just when i make contact, but it’s when there’s a connection with them, a spark, chemistry.
-when i challenge myself and actually do it. this could also mean trying out new things, i guess. i challenged myself to run 10km’s yesterday and I felt really good about it after that!
-simple things, like when old couples hold hands. this may sound cheesy, but it makes me feel that true love exists. :)
-growth – be it spiritual or personal. life is about growing. it’s about pushing yourself and getting on to the next stage. it’s abt development. the happiest times of my life was when i felt i was growing. when u stop growing, life becomes mundane, bland, boring, sad.
-a healthy routine. waking up at a set time, exercising, eating healthy, participating in weekly activities
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Hey Hongyi, thanks for the kind words and for your comment. Very interesting. I think you made a good point about health (which I can relate to), as I really love doing physical activities like martial arts or running.
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Interesting concept. I think happiness is probably the least understood word in the english language. You’ve definitely captured part of it.
I think where people go off course is that they expect happiness – the chemical reaction – to last forever after some magical once-in-a-lifetime event…urrr no!
The Euphoria that we feel as a physical manifestation is temporary and will always be. Our bodies are not wired that way. There are different levels and ways of feeling a variety of emotions on the more ‘positive’ level of the spectrum of emotions. You mentioned many of them and there are many more, exercising, meditation etc are to name but a few.
There are so many and the state we are looking for more than happiness is focus…a deep intense focus when almost nothing distracts us, we are so in the moment that we forget time and space itself and we forget almost who we are.
I’m babbling now but just wanted to contribute some random musings. LOL
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Hey Amit, thanks a lot for your contribution. I’m trying to capture some of those emotions through meditation. It takes time but I’m getting better at it.
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I think I definately feel the happiest when life is about others. Things that make me happy:
Blogging and writing
My loved ones
Running
My cat
Learning new things
Learning
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Hey Jen, I really love cats, although I don’t have one right now. I think I love them because they can do everything alone if they have to, yet they have a heart and are willing to share something with you :D Amazing.
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Oscar, I would first like to say that I enjoy reading your thoughts. It might be my favorite thing on my google reader! The issue of happiness is a very abstract concept and a neat one for you to write about. I know I feel happiness when I know I have made someone’s day/life better. I am a counselor/therapist and if someone comes to talk to me and leaves happier than when they came, it makes me feel good. That’s not an everyday occurance so I attempt to find happiness in other places, often it is in the most unlikely places of all (I saw a Bald Eagle and an Owl in my yard on the same day once…that was happiness).
I couldn’t help but think of a song from the Charlie Brown musical aptly titled Happiness. I will provide a link to the words for you. I read this to a team I coached as well as groups I work with to show them that happiness isn’t as complex as we make it sometimes. Thank you for bringing some happiness into my day!
Link to lyrics:
http://www.thebroadwaymusicals.com/lyrics/youreagoodmancharliebrown/happiness.htm
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What you do is awesome Andy! Thanks for your contribution.
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So many things make up my happiness. Warm weather. An amazing yoga class. Travel travel travel especially to Europe and Asia and Hawaii. Being outdoors in warm weather. Reading Tolstoy. Being with my husband. Eating healthy. Producing, creating, writing, and Helping others. It sounds simple but life is quite good in our time and we should delight in it, not get bored with it….!
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Wow Farnoosh, I’m currently trying to challenge my lifestyle in a way that I can travel more. Can’t wait for that!
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As someone mentioned before, sometimes really small things make me happy. Improving myself has always helped make me happy, whether it’s health or self improvement.
Couple other things on the list would be getting stuff for my children and teaching them things. Also creating is a big one for me as well.
I’m sure there is more but that’s what comes to mind at the moment. Cool post Oscar :)
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Hey Chrisopher, I don’t have children so I can’t only image how that would be. Thanks for your contribution.
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Good list. I can think of two more:
Understanding – when I hear or read something and don’t get it at first but then explore and connect it to what you knew previously makes me happy.
Teaching – it makes me really happy to see somebody else understand and learn. It’s like you built something only for him/her and now you share this knowledge
Keep up the good work!
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Hey Alex, listening and teaching are interesting, I hadn’t thought of that. Thanks for your comment.
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Yep, definitely agree on these points. For me, I think happiness comes from giving away stuff and creating something. Giving something away really makes me happy (so long as they appreciate it). But I think the one thing that makes me the happiest is helping someone with something, not necessarily giving them an item of value, but helping them with their homework, or helping someone learn English…that sort of thing. You can’t really put a price on it but it makes both people very happy.
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Hey Richard, I can say that receiving free help with languages is awesome too, that’s how I learned english :D
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Oscar,
That’s awesome. I’m glad you feel great giving away those books to people who want them.
I think there needs to be an ultimate balance. I can’t imagine giving everything away and being happy. I can’t imagine giving away my awesome computer and bed.
I would feel good giving those items away to someone who desperately needs them. It’ll be even better when I can not only buy an item for myself but also for someone else.
It can be a great feeling to give!
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Hey Moon, yes you can’t definitely give everything you have a way. Balance is important every time :)
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Hey Oscar,
I often give away items, but in addition to helping people – I get a nice short term boost of happiness from clearing stuff out of my house ;)
I think for me the biggest driver for long term happiness is creating. Getting to the end and having it finished gives me a sense of accomplishment, but while I’m in the zone and working on a project, those are usually my fondest memories – especially working together with a team/my friends.
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Hey Sid, creating is definitely awesome. I don’t work a lot in group so I can’t speak of that, but it should be cool :)
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by oscardelben: New post: Where Does Happiness Come From? http://bit.ly/aKUSRP
One thing that comes to mind is hosting campfires, and organizing big group hikes. I am delighted to be able to introduce my favorite people to each other. Over the last few years most of them have connected beyond just my events and I have been really honored to be a part of that.
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Wow, can’t remember the last time I had one. I should probably do it again before I move to london.
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Awesome post. I actually have finding happiness as a goal on my 43Things account…a rather abstract goal, I suppose, but I believe some day I’ll wake up and feel satisfied with how my life is in all aspects. On that day, I’ll consider the goal achieved.
Anyway, I have been taking baby steps and listing things that make me feel joy. All of the things you’ve mentioned on this list made the entries, but I think I find no greater joy nowadays than making people laugh. :) It’s like creating positive energy. I know that most people around me aren’t exactly happy-go-lucky either so it feels great to brighten a day momentarily and remind them that life has it’s fun moments.
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Hey Yakitori that’s a very good point. Thanks for your contribution
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I think chemical imbalances in our bodies contribute a lot to unhappiness so the top of the list for me is exercise and healthy eating.
After that, I think being around people is very important. Humans are social animals. We need to connect and engage to really live.
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Hey John, that’s right. I like to have a few friends (online and offline) that I can talk with. It would be very bad otherwise.
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Ciao Oscar!
It was really a good thing to found your blog! (Hongyi suggested me to read it!).
Happiness is finding people who think about life and other people!! This makes me very happy!
(I’ll add you in my blog list, is it ok?)
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Ciao Laura! Mi fa molto piacere che tu abbia apprezzato il mio sito, e sarei molto onorato di comparire nel tuo blog roll :)
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I’ve been trying to put my finger on this ever since I first read this post. It’s a hard question.
Anyway, I’ve found what does it for me.
The foremost thing that causes my happiness is the feeling of synergy with others. Finding and working with common mindsets and common goals.
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Hey Bert, that’s good that you’ve found it :)
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Connecting with people in real life and not online about things that you are passionate about is a great experience. IT proves that there are really human people out there like you!
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I love to make others happy through inspirations like maybe a kind word or a smile or giving them some positive things that i think are great about them. Offer them a hand with whatever need they might have if i can or an inspiring word of encouragement… Blessings and love!!
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