Editor note: This is a guest post from Armen Shirvanian from timeless information.
Communication with others almost always provides you with knowledge you didn’t have before the communication, unless the discussion is more like “small talk”. You have a certain mode of thinking in your mind, and others have their mode of thinking, and you each have your own past experiences, so talking with them only adds to what you now have. You can’t lose out when talking with someone, asking them a question, or so on.
Keep The Connection Going
You aren’t imposing to others, in most cases. People like you to be direct with your words, and are glad to have someone who cares to deal with them or work with them. I haven’t ever gotten a forthcoming e-mail from someone that left me feeling worse off than before I read it. Just as I like to work with the thoughts of others, others want to hear your thoughts and feedback.
Once you start talking to someone, there’s no need to disconnect from them. Sometimes, we talk with someone, and then “close up shop”, so to speak, making it awkward to talk to them again. This isn’t helpful, because your future self, who will be in physical form sooner than you know it, will then have some difficulty reconnecting with the same person.
There Are So Many People To Connect With
The opportunities to connect with people are endless, but you probably shouldn’t look at it that way. When we have a huge amount of choices, we actually have more difficult making a decision than when we have fewer choices, or when they are already made for us. Find a select group of people you would want to talk to first, and then pick a few from that group. You can always branch out more later.
In the same way that parents don’t understand that telling their children that “the opportunities are endless” doesn’t really help them, you want to limit your own view of potential relationships so that you speed up in making some. Also, you want to keep in mind that time is always limited, so the most casual of relationships might take up your time with little to show for them. There are people like you, and although you will eventually find them, as I think we all find the folks who are like us, you can speed that process up by targeting those who you seem to like or see as comfortable to approach.
When You Communicate Regularly, And With Many, You Win
Most don’t take the risk to talk to person A or person B. That is a loss, because person A or person B probably would like to talk to them. You find out some big mistake you have made after one minute of communication with someone who is doing the same thing the right way. Before the minute of talking, you were way off on something, and afterward, you know how to do it right. This happens all day long for people that stay in communications with folks at their level, and don’t hold back at the first feeling of doubt or insecurity.
It is in your hands to send an e-mail, call someone, meet someone at their house or place of business, or communicate with them in some alternate way. The person you think is least likely to care what you think might be excited to hear from you.
Armen Shirvanian writes words of wisdom about mindset, communication, relationships, and related topics at Timeless Information. You can follow him on Twitter at @Armen.
Posted on January 23 2010
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I feel that you can’t talk to enough people. Speak up. You never know who you’ll meet.
Although a good idea to limit your casual relationships you can never have enough professional or special interest contacts. Associating with as many people with similar interests opens up many more opportunities for you.
Keep in mind when you seek to communicate with people you should talk to them, not at them. The 2 most important things you can give someone are time and attention. When I was new to networking I was guilty of the comment “drive-by” because I didn’t know any better. Now I know to add as much value as possible when commenting on a blog. Send an email complimenting a blogger who writes a particularly compelling post. Add value in whatever way that you can. Be thoughtful and others will think of you, and the more others think of you the better a chance you’ll communicate with them over a longer term.
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I think when it comes to communication, you should listen more than you speak. Efficient listeners are better communicators and they learn more :)
.-= Jaky Astik´s last blog ..Your failures are counted =-.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by sensitivebot: Learn From Continued Communications With Many People.. http://bit.ly/7XhwTs…
Hello Armen,
Great post. Keep up the good work. And keep on writing: feel free to share your ideas.
It is important to meet people face to face: there is no substitute for it. Sometimes, it is strange how we rely too much on technology. Instead, try meeting a person over a cup of coffee.
And listen with empathy. Try to look at a person from his/her point of view. Many times people have issues that you may not be aware of. And yet, we jump the gun and snap to judgment.
It is easy to judge others, but more difficult to understand others. Where are they coming from? What are their life circumstances? What situations are they facing in their lives right now?
You can probe without sounding offensive or intrusive; ask to express interest diplomatically.
By doing so, you can help somebody to resolve a problem (finding a job). If you make this a habit, you can create a win-win situation and find a friend for life or a loyal customer or even a life partner.
Effective communication can help you progress in life and help others to do the same as well. So, try to keep the channels of communication open and try to give others the benefit of the doubt.
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Hey Armen and Oscar!
Nice post and cool to see you posting on Freestyle mind!
Have an awesome weekend!
.-= Diggy-Upgradereality.com´s last blog ..What Message Will You Leave Behind =-.
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Hey Armen,
This is one of my favorite topics. I’ve been interested for some years now in the subject of communication and building connections. Here’s one interesting fact: if you interact with people often, but for short periods of time, you have a lot more chances to build a psychological connection than if you interact rarely but for long periods of time.
.-= Eduard @ Ideas With A Kick´s last blog ..Your ability to smoothly handle hearing ‘No’ is crucial =-.
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Hi Eduard.
That is a very cool point you bring up. I sure like that, and know it comes from your experiential knowledge. I also have something I think lately, in that it makes sense to, instead of bugging one person a lot about a concept, spread the message to many folks, some of whom may want to hear it more. There is a lot of benefit to communicating with a wider range of folks.
I will keep your point in mind.
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Another quick thought on communication that I heard recently, communication does not happen in the person talking it only happens at the moment the idea is transmitted to the listener and occurs inside his our her head.
.-= Quinn´s last blog ..True kindness =-.
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Hi Quinn.
That is another cool addition. We usually think of communication as the talking, but it is the perception of those words that enters the reality of the other person. It is okay to only think of the talking aspect of it, but also thinking about how our words are perceived is the next level of understanding and improvement.
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[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Dragos Roua, Oscar Del Ben, Armen Shirvanian, RTmate2, Sensitive Bot and others. Sensitive Bot said: Learn From Continued Communications With Many People.. http://bit.ly/7XhwTs […]
I am a fan of purposeful communication. It does not mean that I won’t talk to others if I don’t know them. But I like to keep my acquaintances to a manageable size, so I am not stuck having a thousand superficial relationships.
Being open to communication is key. But it’s much more important to be selective who you continue communicating with in the long run, otherwise you will just be overwhelmed.
Just my two cents!
Best,
Tomas
.-= Tomas Stonkus´s last blog ..Does Your Life Get In The Way? =-.
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The technologies that we have now have made it easier and more difficult to communicate with people. It is instant and there are many ways to reach a person. I remember writing letters a decade ago. (Back then ‘letters’ meant script handwriting on a physical paper and sent to the post office.) We may have gained something with these technologies but we also lost something. Either way, whichever channel of communication to be used, communicating with other people is very important.
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