Change is the process you take when you want to move from one situation to another. Change is what you take when you decide to quit smoking, switch job, or escape from a bad situation.
For the sake of simplicity in this post we’re only going to talk about positive changes, that is, changes that provide benefits to you.
Problem with change is that it’s sometimes risky, and you really wouldn’t want to take it because your current comfort zone looks already nice to you. Maybe you know that you should be doing something different, and what you need is a small kick to get things started. So how do you beat the fear of change?
How to beat the fear of change
Whatever you want to do, there are a few simple steps you can take to get rid of bad emotions and concentrate on the positive effects:
- See where you are now. Sometimes it’s useful to take a reality check and see where you are now. Is your health status really that nice that you don’t need to go to the gym? What about your work, or relationships?
- See where you want to go. Once you understand that your current situation can be improved, it’s time to think at how you want it to be. You might want to loose 10 pounds or move to another career. This is the phase where most people experience start to experience fear or regression.
- Understand failure. What if I tell you that I actually like to fail? Failure it’s not the opposite of success and I like it because when I fail, I know that what I was doing was not the best way, and guess what? I move to something else and I try until I succeed. If what I want to do is critical, I also think at how I could go back to the original situation. When I quit my job three years ago the first thing I thought was that I could easily have found another job if necessary.
- Cultivate a strong desire of change. I tend to look at change as something desirable. When I want to do something new that requires me to move out of my comfort zone, I see it as an opportunity to grow and learn a lesson. Even if everything would turn out to be bad, I know I’ll have learnt an invaluable lesson and experience. That’s how we actually grow by the way (remember when you was a child?).
- Connect with those who already did it. One of the best ways to get motivated at something new, is to connect with people who already did it before. Want to become vegan? There are millions of people who already are. Want to train for a marathon? You would be impressed at how many stories of people who completed a marathon you can find on the internet. You can always find someone who has already did what you want to do thanks to the internet, so don’t be afraid and try to connect with them, or at least get inspired by their stories.
- List all the benefits. Making a list of all the benefits you’ll gain once you have completed your change it’s another great exercise to develop your motivation. Focus only on the good things and let bad things for losers. Try to list as many advantages as possible.
- Get started. If you just get started doing what you want to do, you’ll eventually notice that it’s not that difficult to keep going. For example when I want to go out and run I don’t focus on the entire task, I simply put my shoes and get out the door, then it’s easy for me to continue my workout. Same thing goes for everything else, there’s always something that you can do right now regarding your goal.
BONUS: Unveil myths
Myths are often the reason why you don’t want to start something. For example a common myth is that 95% of business fails within five years. This is a common myth that many have today. I don’t know who was the first that said it, but I used to think it was true until I decided to validate it.
The first thing I noticed was that the major part of restaurants, stores, groceries, etc was already there five years ago, so I researched a bit and found that only 23% of business closes within five years. Notice that I said closes, not fails. Many of them are either sold or the boss retired. I can’t remember the actual source of this information, but here you can find an excellent explanation if you are interested.
With this example I want to prove that we are often afraid of something that is simply not true. I already wrote a detailed article about limiting beliefs, so I wont rehash everything again here, just keep in mind of your beliefs when you are afraid of trying something new.
Posted on November 10 2009
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It’s funny that about 95% of businesses failing. Makes it seems like businesses are totally impossible doesn’t it? I bought into that damn myth for a long time but something felt wrong… so I decided to go against what I thought was true just to see what happened. I spent about two years expecting the world to end but I’m still fucking alive! :)
I’m sure I have a lot more limiting beliefs to break in there, but I’m getting there :)
Andrew
.-= Andrew´s last blog ..What’s in Gubby’s RSS feed #3 – conscious breakups and updates =-.
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Hey Andrew, you are not alone, we are both still alive. Actually I know a lot other people like us :D
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Hey Oscar,
I especially like number 5 and what simple but effective thing to do…it’s something I never thought about with regards to certain area’s of my life.
Great post!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..How To Be Single And Enjoy Every Second =-.
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Hey Amit, I’m glad you liked it. I try to connect with people who are already where I want to be on a regular basis. They are so inspiring. Thanks for your comment.
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Hey Oscar, I really resonate with your last tip – just get started. To beat fear of change, rather than dwell in worry, just get started. It’s easier when you’re already “in the change” and with time and experience, that change begins to easily fade away.
.-= Tristan Lee´s last blog ..Will Power – A Contradictory Concept =-.
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Hey Tristan, you are right, with time and experience what was looking odd at first will become natural. Thanks for your comment.
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I love #5. It’s true that by hanging around with people who has done it, it motivates us to stay on track with the process of change. Great post Oscar.
.-= Karlil´s last blog ..Fight =-.
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Hey Karlil, thanks for the compliment.
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Oscar – You’re on to one of my favorite subjects man! Overcoming fear.
I have to say that #7 has to be #1. It’s a hard learned lesson for me. You can want change to happen. You can read about it and talk to other people who have made change in their lives, but in order to have real change in your life you have to take action. You have to put yourself out there and do something.
.-= Nate´s last blog ..Confessions of an Introvert and Notes on Being Yourself =-.
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Hey Nate, yes taking action is the most important and it could be the number 1. If you don’t do nothing, you get nothing :D
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Hi Oscar,
What a wonderful tips! I love the point 7 “Get Started”=>You are absolute right, if we think on the entire task we can get overwhelmed, the key is to take the first step and don’t think too much :).
I also like your advice on making a list to track the results we get.
Good post Oscar.
Regards.
.-= David | ilcantone.com´s last blog ..CREATIVE THINKING: 10 WAYS TO BOOST YOUR CREATIVITY (Part II) =-.
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Hey David, a list is important because it forces the brain to think positively, and positively thinking is the key.
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Hi Oscar.
Connecting with those who already did something is a big one. They know all the things we want to know, and usually are fine about helping regarding them too. We have all these mysteries, but in their minds they are not mysteries at all, because they already went through the steps involved. Someone who doesn’t check with someone who already went through a process, or who doesn’t get information provided by them, is basically giving up loads of “speed up” time in the process.
The value there is worth latching on to, and can provide the person with a sense of fulfillment for giving back. There is no one to be afraid to talk to.
Cool set here to prevent that bad fear worry.
.-= Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Knowledge Is Your Best Friend =-.
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Thanks Armen. I believe indeed most people are willing to help if you don’t abuse their time and build a relationship. Thanks for your comment.
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Great article Oscar.
Tim Ferriss is the go to guy for deconstruction and breaking down myths. Also, well done on breaking down your own myth of the 95% fail rate. Perhaps we have the next Tim right here in our midsts.
.-= JONNY | thelifething.com´s last blog ..Your Blog Is Awesome and I Am A Shameless Whore =-.
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Hey Jonny, I’m a big fan of Tim Ferris. He’s able to do things 10 times faster than the norm. I think his secret is that he has a lot of motivation.
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Hey Oscar,
Great pic! I think it’s also worthwhile looking back to reflect on where you’ve come from and why you wanted a change in the first place?
Number 7 is the key! Get Started.
.-= Andrew´s last blog ..Why You Don’t Need to Go to School to Be Successful =-.
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Hey Andrew, that helps to keep yourself motivated along the way. Thanks for your comment.
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Recently I’ve read Ping and Who Moves My Cheese, realized that Change is the inevitable thing. And of course all of us fear of it. But, it’s a chance for new thing better/worse come to us and it’s up to what we are thinking and doing currently.
Great post, and again I wonder why a tech guy can write these thing :)
.-= Phaoloo´s last blog ..6 Effective Tools To Check Your Site For Broken Links =-.
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Think about how boring life would be if we DIDN’T change! It’d be Groundhog Day over and over again.
I wonder if people that embrace change are those that have had positive experiences with it in the past, versus others who may have had an undesirable outcome as a result of change? Unfortunately, if the latter is true, the only way to break this cycle is to keep on changing so you can get some positive experiences on your side!
I imagine that there’s a lot of people who are paralyzed by fear that prohibits them from seeking change, but I also imagine it’s a matter of a lack of consciousness – there’s plenty of people who don’t even stop to consider that they have the ability to change something. This breaks my heart.
.-= Ash´s last blog ..33 Tell-Tale Signs You’re a Closet Lifestyle Designer =-.
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Hey Ash, thanks for your comment! Yes, life without challenges would be bored ;)
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This is a great article on how to overcome the fear of change. I have a similar article on connecting with like-minded people to help you on your journey, though your article is really to the point with many great ways to get started. Thanks for the post!
Dynasty Web – Drive More Traffic To Your Site
.-= Dynasty Web´s last undefined ..If you register your site for free at =-.
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Thanks for the feedback Dynasty Web.
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Hey Oscar, great post and reminders you’ve got there.
I especially liked the point that you revealed as “understand failure”.
Many people lack the motivation and action to change their lives simply because they pessimistically believe that their trial of change will fail and drive them into a worse place. But by understanding that by failing, you’d actually get an education on how to succeed.
If you act, you either succeed, or you learn how to not fail like last time. It’s simply a win-win situation for you. The only thing that is stopping us is our mind-set and how we see failures. If we treat failures as giant monsters chasing after us then of course we are going to stop taking action. But if we take failures as teachers on our side for enlightening us with lessons on failing and succeeding, then that motivation and action will happen.
Steven, thanks for that post :)
.-= Steven´s last blog ..The Chamber of Torture – Our Minds =-.
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Oscar,
I like your insight, especially about myths. I too had heard that “fact” about 95% of businesses failing within 5 years for the longest time. I think that the curse of viewing statistics is that we tend to gauge our potential against them. We use the stats as a benchmark, and in many cases, myths as a benchmark.
You’re now in my RSS Reader. I look forward to future posts :)
Ryan
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Hey Ryan, statistics are just statistics. Even if 95 if that was true that 95% of business fails that doesn’t mean that your must fail as well. G;ad to be in your RSS reader.
Oscar
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Hi Oscar! I am really struck with this particular post! I am ignoring the opportunities that are knocking on my door because I have been fearful to get out from my current comfort zone!
Thanks! You made me realize not to fear change.. and I like #5… Understanding failure… This is one of the primary reason that holds us back to embrace changes..
.-= frugal expat´s last blog ..Brawling for AED 10 =-.
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Glad it helped you. Remember that you can take baby steps if you want. As long as you do something, you’ll always move forward.
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This is a great post about dealing with the natural resistance that most of us feel to change. Some insightful points to help in overcoming fears and embracing change and opportunity. I agree, action is key to moving forward.. :)
.-= amanda@choosing-life-my-way.com´s last blog ..Take a Chance on Life =-.
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Thanks Amanda for your comment :)
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