One year ago, my life took an unexpected turn. It was there that I decided I had enough with my ordinary life and that I wanted to do something new. I didn’t really know what to do, but I couldn’t wait anymore.
Since then, many things have changed, like creating this blog, start to working part time (now from home), and moving to London (I will move this summer). It’s nothing particularly exciting, but I feel good about it, and it motivates me to do even more.
Below are a list of things that I didn’t know before starting this journey. They may be common sense for many, but it’s only when you apply them that you can feel the difference.
Stress is only a state of mind
For many years I was victim of nervousness and stress. I would feel very sick every time I had to do something out of the ordinary. Didn’t matter what I tried, I wasn’t able to find a solution.
Until I finally decided one day that no matter what I was going to do, I couldn’t possibly be in charge of everything that would happen around me. So I decided to let go.
No matter what was going to happen, I was finally free to react as I wanted as opposed to let fear and stress take over me.
This has been on of the best decisions in my life. From that moment I experienced virtually no stress and I now feel more secure of my action. It was only a matter of consciously deciding that there was nothing to be worried about, yet it took me many years to realize that.
It’s not about you, it’s about how other people feel as a result of interacting with you.
Before starting blogging, I thought that to be great online you had to be someone special. This was a problem because I was neither someone special, nor someone with good leadership skills. Plus I knew nobody.
It’s only when I tried to validate my beliefs that I discovered the truth. And the truth is that it’s not about being special, but it’s all about doing your best for making your visitors feel special.
Unfinished projects will get you nowhere
This is important. I’ve always been the kind of guy who loves to try new things. If it was for me, I would probably try to learn 4 languages in a year, practice a dozen different sports, and then start ten different projects per day (no exaggeration). Yet the only things that did work out in the last year are those that I continued to work in.
When I first started this blog, I had 0 readers and I was writing in a language that I didn’t really know well (I’m Italian). It took me a while to get the first readers and probably a couple of months before making a post that would become very popular. It wasn’t always easy to be focused on the big picture, but it paid off. For me the biggest lesson I learned through blogging has been to stick with something until it works, to learn from what worked before, but most importantly to believe in what you are doing, otherwise every single difficulty will be a reason to quit, and when you quit, nothing happens.
The same has been true for learning new things. I’m currently in the process of making my first iphone application, but it took a while to get to this point. Although I had a few years of programming experience, when I first picked up objective-c programming and the cocoa framework (this is the stuff we use for making the wonderful apps you use in your iphone) I was very confused by how much there was to learn. It took me a while to figure out how to create some basic stuff from myself, but I’m starting to feel comfortable now.
The moral of the story is that it’s easy to quit, and everyone can do it. But those who succeed are those who persist and move forward when difficulties arise.
Conclusion
It’s amazing how simple things like these can make a huge difference in our life. Now it’s your turn, what are the things that changed your life for the better? Even simple things matter. I’d love to hear your experiences.
Inspirational stuff, dude! Deciding to quit most crap food I was eating as well as cutting out more or less all soda like drinks definitely changed my life for the good. Will start a year long trip to 3 different continents on my own soon (more or less at least), with not enough money, haha, which I assume will definitely change my life too, for good or worse, we’ll see :).
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Hey Kristof, you year long trip sounds very exciting! I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun. Thanks for your comment.
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“But those who succeed are those who persist and move forward when difficulties arise.”
Exactly! To always move on and have the will to succeed. I think that is a state of mind that is so important and needs a lot of exercise!
and wow! Your moving to London? Why’s that?
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Hey PingLu, I’m moving because I want to explore new cities and because having a company here in Italy is very expensive.
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3 things from you for 3 things from me…
1. The World is simple. The Simple is better.
Keep it simple. If it’s complicated is wrong. Simplify. Search the problem’s root and cure it.
2. Worrying does not work.
Here on Brazil, the expression for “worry about something” is the same of “pre-busy with something”. So why do you keep busy with something thats not happend yet. Use your time to be prepared. Worry does not work for nothing.
3. Keep feeding the thieves;
No matter what they do, keep feeding them. Even if they run away and steal from you, when they come back (and they will) keep feeding them. It’s a question of time until them to learn you will be there to them and its not necessary for they to steal from you.
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Hey Bruno, great advices, thanks for sharing them.
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Loved this post, Oscar… especially the last one. :)
The past year has been a big change for me, too. The one thing I learned is that if I don’t decide what to do with my life someone else will. It’s made me increasingly stubborn (in a good way) about my own dreams and even makes me come off as irrational to people who don’t get why I won’t “just apply to professional school and get it over with already.” There’s a method to the madness, but I’m just preaching to the choir here!
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Hey Valerie, glad you liked the post. I think you’ve said something very important here. If you don’t make decisions for yourself, someone else will make them for you.
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Oscar,
I started my blog 8 months ago and the changes in my life because of the blog have been profound. Stress really is a state of mind which is something I’ve come to terms with after going through some very stressful periods in my life over the last 8 months.
I also love your bit on unfinished projects. Like you, I was kind of an idea machine, but I never really followed through on anything. It was just one crazy scheme after another. But when I started to focus (i.e in the case of my blog) that’s when things really started to change. Great points. Really loving everything you are writing lately.
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Hey Srinivas, thanks for your feedback, it means a lot for me. You were one of my firsts readers and you’re still here. Awesome!
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Oscar,
Finding your own way is a really hard thing to do and I hope I can do what you have done. I’ll be making my own path and I can only hope to believe in myself.
I wonder how my life will be 1 year from now. Stress is something I’m not handling well at the moment. I get really anxious and I hate that. Something I definitely need to work on!
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Hey Moon, for me it was really a matter of letting it go. It’s difficult to explain but I simply stopped to care about it.
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Hey Oscar,
I’m glad you decided to stick with the blog!
My biggest accomplishment and learning experience recently has been learning to focus on one big project/area of growth at a time. Like you, I want to do so many things at once but I’m learning to prioritize and pick one.
This has opened up so many more ideas, opportunities, and allowed me to actually make progress.
Take care!
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Hey Ben, good to see I wasn’t the only one with that problem. Good luck with your projects and thanks for your comment.
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I’ve noted similar things in my life Oscar.
I’ve also learned to make personal development my best friend. I meditate twice daily. I visuliaze, affirm, and listen to my subconscious tapes daily.
With the proper mental tools in place life becomes your playground. I make money and build relationships with like people more easily as I make PD my focus.
Some people are born with a success consciousness and others have to work at it. I fall into the 2nd camp but the results are worth the time and effort.
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Hey Ryan, thanks for sharing your experience. I actually think that we are all created equal and that we can achieve everything if we want to. Some people might be able to do it faster in some areas, but eventually we can all get there if we want to (this is a generalization of course).
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Nice post Oscar. Some of the things that changed my life was focusing more on the now. You’ve probably heard this before a hundred times, but I’ll just mention it again. I was always very stressed like you too. I would always worry about my past actions and how they affected my future. I realized that if I focused on the now and accept it, then nothing can bother me. It’s also easier for me to move forward when difficulties arise.
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Hey Humbert, that’s a very good thing indeed. Thanks a lot for your comment.
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I enjoyed your blog post. I read the one that Guy Kawasaki suggested: the 30 Habits that will change your life. I love that one.
I am a professional organizer. If I am true to my calling, I like to say I am a ‘change manager’ so your blog post spoke to me.
The three things I have learned in the last year:
1. Learn how to use Twitter. It is not just about social media, it is an opening to the world. How else would I have found out about your blog? We are worlds apart in age, nationalities and interests but there you are providing insight and wisdom. It has open doors for me in business (I made Guy’s Alltop list for Organizing). I have found new friends and colleagues.
2. I have always been a ‘shooting from the hip’ type of gal. If you ask my opinion, I will give it to you… It took me years to appreciate that this was a good quality. Why? Because, to use a much over used word these days, it is the ‘authentic’ me. I am who I am and what I say, I mean. I am not always a good messenger, but the message is always good (i.e.intentions).
3. Don’t be afraid to succeed. Sometimes we hold ourselves back for what? To save face? To be modest? To play it safe? Take chances… at least no once can say you did nothing. Right?
Thanks for letting me put that on ‘paper’.
Margarita Ibbott
www.downshiftingPOS.blogspot.com
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Oscar, not enough words to say just how impressive and reassuring it is to read your experience, and learn from it (even though I am older than you ;)) – so bravo a million times over for sticking to the blog and look at where you are and only you know how far you can go…and thank you for sharing such inspiration! It wraps up the night very beautifully for me. :)
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Hey Farnoosh, glad you liked the post. Actually I didn’t anything special, I just continued to do a few things that I loved, and learned that persistence is key. Thanks for your comment.
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woow, nice oscar… really nice,
‘’Stress is only a state of mind’’
i think that the people generate is own Stress…
or, maybe is not like i say, but a lot of people do that.
great blog oscar ;D!… lucky :)
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Hey Ljury, thanks for your kind words. I think you’re true regarding stress. If the stress persists for more than a few moments, you know you’re making it yourself.
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Hey, this is the first time I’ve seen this blog before and I’m glad I found it! What you are saying is so true. Stress IS a state of mind, I think we have to be able to control our state of mind if we want to improve ourselves. Another thing that you said that I completely agree with and just started learning is that ‘its not about you’ and its about how people feel after interacting with you. I just started looking at that idea from the book Think and Grow Rich. I never realized how much it can help you in life to just listen to what others have to say and also to help them out. Thanks for the great post, keep them coming because I’ll be reading :)
-Ruke
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Hey Ruke, glad you liked the post and thanks a lot for your comment. It’s appreciated :)
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Persistence is a beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing this message.
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Hey Bambo, thanks for you’re comment
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It seems you have releasing some beautiful things about life. I might understand it.I am not english, I am portuguese but you write in english perfectly. If one day you’ll decide to write a blog in italian I am sure I’ll also read because you’ll do great posts like you are doing on Freestyle Mind (it is said that we are what we do) and italian is the most beautiful language in the world.
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Hey Tania, the problem with writing in italian is that there’s very little audience. I prefer to write in english because more people can read my posts.
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Your English is great at the moment, you must have come a long way. You’re inspiring me because I’m at the start of your journey too with the starting a blog thing.
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Hey Richard, I wish you good luck with your blog!
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One of the best decisions I made in my life recently was to stop accepting second class behaviour from people. We obviously can’t do that with members in our family, but I’m talking about friends.
I love my best friends, and I’m glad I have them in my life because I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. However, I had some friends that were holding me back. There are some relationships I wouldn’t let go, even though it was hurting me. Being hurt, as in carrying that extra baggage of stress! Some of these people would take out their own inadequacy on me. Usually, it doesn’t bother me but if you see these people very often and are surrounded by them, it can get to your head.
I’ve done a good job with getting away from those leechers.
“Don’t ever let someone tell you, you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you got to protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they want to tell you, you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.” – Christopher Gardner
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Hey Usman, I think that you did the right thing.
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